And then it clicked.

“Do you want to Emcee this weekend?” Shane was asking Bob after his lesson on Friday evening. “It will be Jason and Jessica in the first show. If Jessica beats Jason, then she'll be jousting me in the second show, but if not then she won't. We'll see.” He was well aware that I was standing ten feet away, listening. No pressure.

First joust of the day on Saturday I rode Phantom. He was my partner in Estes Park, Colorado and I was excited to joust on him again. Phantom can be a little high strung some days, but he started out that morning's parade pretty calm. Halfway through the parade, however, he started to get...uh, excited might be a good word for it. Still, it was nothing too bad. But when we got ready to enter the arena, he became overly eager to do his job. The thing about Phantom is that even when he is high strung, he still runs down the jousting lyst well, which is one of the many reasons why I like him. Remember how I said it was going to be a good weekend? Not for one of our squires, Katie. We had won one of the games and I grabbed "gold" (candy) to throw out to my crowd. Phantom unexpectedly turned his butt toward Katie. I was not too worried because Katie is a horsewoman I knew she knew to get out of the way. She would have too...but when phantom turned, as Katie was moving away, he caught the edge of her boot with his hoof, so that as she tried to move away, she twisted and fell on the corner of the wood mounting block...ouch. Sorry Katie. I still feel really bad about that. However Phantom did not feel bad about it. I am convinced if English were going through his head it would be, Let's joust. Let's joust! As evidenced in him not wanting to hold still while waiting for our opponents to come about. Another thing about Phantom is that because he gets so over-eager, we let him “turn and burn”. That means Phantom and I wait where we stopped at the end of the pass until our opponent is set and ready to charge, then Phantom turns and runs down the lyst without stopping to set. Because he is one of the primary horses I ride in heavy armor, I am used to this and can usually counter the g-forces that ensue with such a turn, and then get back in a good position to joust. Well, he did not just turn and burn that morning – he turned and caught on fire! Which made it extremely difficult to keep my balance coming around the turn to head down the lyst lane. Still, I was able to hit Jason most of the time. And it was not just Phantom's fault either. I was still psyching myself out. Coming down the lane, I was not always sure I could do it. You have to be sure. Ergh. 
Thinking that Saturday was my day, it was highly disappointing when not only did I not win that joust, but I had not jousted well either. Mom had come to watch me that day too. I like to call her my good luck charm. Well, I don't believe in luck really anyway. Perhaps prayer warrior is a better term. I was happy to have her there :).

When I don't joust well, it is all I can do not to beg Shane to let me joust again that same day. The next morning seems very far away and I want another chance as soon as possible. I knew it would not be given. Tomorrow was another day.

After getting an awful sleep Saturday night, I found myself getting frustrated and angry easily Sunday morning, but tried to save it for the jousting lyst. This helps more than you might think. A few things were smoothed out by coffee though, and after two large cups and a couple of antacids I was feeling much better.

Finally it was time to joust on Sunday. Phantom and I were partnered up again. He was very calm that day and gave me incredibly smooth gaits (more so than usual, as he always has smooth gaits). We won both of the games that morning - the first time that has happened. Would we win the joust? Yes we would. After all of the times I had jousted Jason, I had not beaten him, until then. Still, I was not happy with the way I had jousted. I was so determined to hit him every pass that I was not focusing on a single point, just a general area. This obviously caused me to hit off target a couple of times and I did not break as many lances as I should have, not to mention my seat could have been better. No, I am not being excessively hard on myself. That's just the way it is. Had it been a tournament I would not have won. Because of this, I was not sure if Shane would count it as the win I needed to advance to the next level, so to speak, and go up against him in the next joust. Apparently no one else was sure either. Honestly, I was afraid to ask Shane because if he said no, I was so tired I was afraid something emotional might come out. You know, like tears. 

When I finally got the courage to ask him, he said it would be him and Jason next show. I must have looked disappointed because he said, “You wanted it, didn't you, Jessica?” Well, yeah, “Didn't you, Jessica?” “Do you want to joust this show?” He kept repeating the question in his annoying older brother way. I wanted to tell him that any opportunity I have to joust, I will take, but every time I started that sentence I could feel an emotional clop in my throat and stopped. Finally I managed a “Sure,” with a steady voice. So he said I could. As eager as I was to joust one last time that weekend, I was not ready for what happened to me.

The second show of the day usually has the largest crowd. This day was no different. Shane was riding one of the young horses, Praetorian, and I was riding Crispin (my other partner from Estes). This show happened to be special because my friend (and a friend of all of the knights and squires there), Shawn, was Emcee that show. He did an awesome job, as usual. But as we were waiting to be called into the arena I was not thinking about Shawn being emcee or about the huge crowd of people. I was thinking, Shane gave me this opportunity, now all I have to do is not screw it up. And as we stood there I was picturing a steady lowering of my lance, it breaking dead center of the gridded grand guard, and bringing what remained of it back up right away. This went through my head over and over again. To help things, I had asked Jason (who was helping the squires that show) to remind me of using my right leg to keep Crispin straight and true down the lyst lane.

However, things did not start out well. The first game was combo, which I am not good at anyway. It was no different this show. Great start...The second game I got to chop an apple off of a friend's (Garret!) head. Hey, I didn't miss. Yay! Hehe. (He did have a helm on, don't worry.)

Then it was time to joust. Even though I was sweating profusely in the heat, once I had my helm on, the oven I turned into went unnoticed. All that mattered was the joust. Center. Target. Timing. Leg. The first pass was a miss for both of us. Praetorian is an unusually fast jousting horse and since he is new, no one is really used to the timing yet. Second pass was a hit, I believe.
Third pass. “Right leg, Jessica, right leg!” Jason shouted and as I came down the lyst, everything clicked. I could kick Crispin with my right leg, while making sure my timing was good and at the same time focus steadily on the center of Shane's gridded grand guard while remembering to keep weight in my left stirrup. Time slowed for me. Even as my contacts blurred from sweat, the target did not waiver. It felt right, smooth. BOOM! Both of our lances shattered into oblivion. Running down again, the same thing happened. Then it happened again. Shane still won, but I had achieved a victory of my own. Everything finally came together. It was so amazing it's hard to describe. I even feel a little sheepish for being so happy about a joust I did not win. With all my heart I hope I can keep this up.

After Crispin and I were done signing broken lance pieces (Okay, so I signed for Crispin ;b), one of our squires, Sam, handed me a rose from the dais. Thanks guys! That was so sweet. It was my favorite kind, too.

Finally, I had a joust I was happy with. Really happy with. That did not even happen at Estes Park. Don't get me wrong, I still could have done better, but the feeling of everything clicking is something I will not forget and will hopefully experience a lot more. After praying and training so hard, it happened. What a wonderful feeling.
Until next time...
Off to the lyst!~